I just got through reading Paige’s comments to the draft of my ‘article,’ and needed to write through my own anxiety/exhaustion before beginning to tackle the revisions ahead of me today.

I presented this paper on Friday at a working group and the feedback I got there was based on a draft I had finalized the Friday before (which had been significantly altered by the time I presented). Over the weekend I edited based on the new feedback, and then sent Paige the newest draft, and then this morning received more great feedback, and must get back to it again.

This process– writing the paper, presenting the paper, hearing the feedback, incorporating the feedback, repeat– is so hard to get used to, no matter how many times I do it, and this is what academic writing is, so I must get used to it. It would be easier if there was more time to take breaks between writing, presenting, editing, but alas, this thing is due on Thursday, there is no time. Could I have been more on top of this over the summer, sure, but I have been more organized and productive in the last year than I have ever been before, so I donno what else I could have done.

I wish I could go back to 3rd year PhD student me and give her a big talking to. Back then I slept until 10 most days and never considered doing schoolwork on a Saturday. All that wasted time! I could really use that time now.

One more thing: the academic job market is insane! I am only applying for a few things, and I can’t believe how much work it is. I know people who are applying for 20-40 things, which is I think what you have to do to get a job, and I just can’t even imagine how I would be able to hold all the pieces in my brain on top of anything else. I suppose ideally, when you get to the job market, you are not doing anything else (except of course you are, you are teaching, working, etc.). I now understand why some academics stay at the same job for 40 years, once you have a position, would you really want to go through the drama and agony of applying anywhere else again?

Alright. I’m off to do this writing thing. The goal today on my real big writing day is to have a revised draft of the article by noon, when I get to break for lunch. After lunch, from 1-4, I will return to the editing of writing samples. While the writing samples are important, the article is priority. A writing sample is not a publication, so it need not be perfect (this is today’s mantra). At 4:30 I get to go to “boss blast” and maybe will even stay for zumba. Fingers crossed I don’t have to work tonight on the couch like I did last night, but if it has to happen, so be it. I just have to make it to Thursday.